Aha…new love. There is nothing more intoxicating than the blissful feeling of new love. The future looks bright and hopeful with this new love in your life. Life has prepared you for this moment of commitment – right? No! Maybe! If you are unsure about being ready for this life changing event then read on and make sure you are prepared for the happily ever-after life.
The happily ever after dream…but, what is really in store for this new formed couple? Why is there so much doom and gloom? Well the stats say that almost half of marriages today will end in divorce. But does this need to happen to YOU? We say NO!
The top three rules to making a “happily ever after” life.
Rule #1. Have fun! Your getting married and you are probably having fun in the relationship. Great, remember this time in your life together and most importantly keep the fun in the relationship. The ‘fun’ might change as the years go by, but ‘fun’ is a key building block to a long healthy relationship.
Rule #2. Listen !! We mean really listen. When you are listening find a way to hold your partner important. Not more important than you, and not less either. When you hold each other important in any discussion you are really listening for your partner’s different view point. It’s really quite amazing what you might hear… even when you think you’ve heard it all before or you are so sure what they are going to say or do.
Rule #3. Don’t judge…Evaluate your relationship before marriage and in your marriage. Evaluating improves your chances for long-term success. There are three key criteria in particular to assess yourself, your general preparedness for a long loving and enduring marriage. These three key evaluation criteria are; 1. you, as an individual – your traits and skills to handle conflict, related stresses and communication, 2. you and your partner’s abilities to communicate with each other and 3. the situation in which you and your partner are currently influenced by, such as family history and significant role-models in your life. These three factors can predict marital dissatisfaction, satisfaction or long-term success of your relationship.
So, to help you and your partner, here is an exercise to assess your compatibility and competency to endure the relationship hurdles:
- List yours and your partner’s five most fun activities – any similarities?
- Discuss how well you know your partner as well as your own likes and dislikes.
- Look at how familiar you are with your partner’s current life-stressors, such as finances, job or career, weight and fitness, passions or interests, relatives and family commitments etc. Shock or surprise by any of the answers?
- Understanding the expectations of each other. How accepting of the situation are you? Are you flexible, willing to adjust and adapt? If your partner didn’t change, could you live with that?
You can Beat the odds! Blair and I consistently heard from family and friends “don’t work together if you are married – that will only spell failure”. Absolutely no one around us had anything good to say about a husband and wife successfully working together, but here we are twenty-two years later in marriage and twenty years as business partners, we are still alive and well and in love!
There is lots of hope for any of you who believe – in yourselves and each other!
Blair and Melissa have been happily married for 22 years. Aside from being husband and wife they also run a business together, Results Now Inc. a coaching and training company and have done so for twenty years. Blair and Melissa live in Edmonton, Alberta with their two beautiful daughters. If you wish to learn more about Blair and Melissa’s training, you are welcome to contact them at 1-888-663-2047 or visit their business website at www.resultsnowinc.com.